Equals
by scorchedtrees
Summary: They're the same, the three of them; they've always been. AU in which Levi and Petra are in the same trainees squad. Written for Rivetra Week.


_A/N: Written for Rivetra Week Day 7: Equals/Companions. I don't know anything about the timeline, okay; just bear with me. This is an AU anyway so whatever. ;) _

* * *

She meets him in the dining hall.

Though _meets_ wouldn't be the right word, exactly—_runs into_ is more like it. Literally. She's preoccupied, hands holding a tray of slop and her mind buzzing with Shadis's words, and she doesn't notice the boy until she is two inches from him, her foot half on his.

"Sorry!" she blurts, an apologetic smile instantly flitting over her face. That usually appeases people, but the boy only scowls at her like she purposely trod on him or something.

He pushes past her without a word and she stares after him, frowning. She hadn't meant to—

_Oh well,_ she tells herself, going back to her table where a girl about her age with hair two shades darker than hers sits. _It's his problem if he wants to be rude, not mine._

.

.

.

The boy's name is Levi Ackerman, and within a week it's clear he'll be in the top ten.

He makes every training exercise look easy; he balances effortlessly between two wires, shifting his weight perfectly, and he looks bored as he does it. It takes her a few minutes before she stops wobbling, but at least she isn't struggling to stay upright like others are.

He sits alone at mealtimes, and because he's short, two other boys possibly jealous of his prowess go to pick a fight with him—before Shadis can hear anything going on, Levi's already got them running, bruised and black-eyed, and he glares at everyone else until they look away and the dining hall resumes its usual chatter, but conversation is muted and Petra continues to watch the dark-haired boy with the pale gray eyes.

There's something a bit off about him but she can't quite put her finger on what it is: he seems to be a loner, someone who prefers solitude to the company of others, and after witnessing his abrasive personality she can see why, but that's not just it—there is a certain reluctance to everything he does, an air of resignedness to his actions, that makes her wonder why he's here in the first place.

"I think I want to join the Stationary Guard," says the girl Petra sat with her first night as a member of the 98th trainee squad, Anka Rheinberger. "I'm not a fool; I don't want to throw my life away, but even if I did make the top ten I don't want to wait around on the king either."

Petra doesn't say anything; she's not sure yet why she's here exactly, but she knows she has to do _something_—she can't just stay at home and mend clothing and wait for suitors, not after her mother's death. Her mother was a trainee too, then a member of the Scouting Legion, and she doesn't know if she's willing to follow her mother into the outskirts of death but maybe also being a soldier will help her figure something out.

.

.

.

One day she's walking through the training grounds when she sees Levi Ackerman facing off against another boy with a similar haircut—Auruo Bossard, she thinks his name is. Auruo is wiping blood from his lip as he pushes himself off the ground, but he's smiling, a genuine smile, so Petra doesn't run over right away and demand to know what they're doing.

"Your feet are too clumsy," Levi says in that low, emotionless voice of his. "Balance your weight on the balls of your feet. Then you can shift positions more easily when people make unexpected moves."

Later that night Petra asks Auruo how he got Levi to teach him, and Auruo shrugs.

"He was practicing by himself and I asked."

So she asks too; she catches Levi alone the next day and requests his assistance in helping her improve her hand-to-hand combat skills. He eyes her warily; he's not much taller than her and she has the feeling neither of them are going to grow much more. "Why do you want to learn?" he says. "You're going to need 3DMG, not your fists."

She lifts her chin. "You never know, it might come in handy someday."

His gaze flickers briefly to the side, then back at her, and it suddenly hits her that despite his prickly personality and his penchant for always being by himself, he must desire company sometimes too, and in a flash of sympathy she thinks it's sad he can't even ask for it. She doesn't let her thoughts show on her face though; she's been around him enough in the past couple of months to know it would be the perfect way to drive him off.

"'Kay," he finally says, and Petra beams.

.

.

.

It becomes a ritual, something they do whenever they have a bit of spare time and they're not too tired; sometimes Auruo joins them and sometimes she watches as the two boys circle each other with fists raised. Auruo is taller, but Levi's movements are quick and precise, and he darts around like he could fly up at any moment without gear to help him.

He never talks much beyond correcting her movements, but she talks enough for all three of them; he stops telling her to shut up after two or three practice sessions. She asks questions all the time, pauses and resumes speaking when she gets no answers, but sometimes he surprises her by responding.

She's pretty sure she can call him a friend now, even if he won't admit it, and she drags him and Auruo to her corner of the dining hall with Anka at mealtimes. Anka seems wary at first, but Auruo is a conversationalist (even if he tends to talk too fast and bite his tongue sometimes) and soon enough, she doesn't mind their presence.

Months pass, then a year, and the 98th trainee squad slowly begins to mature—in fighting, in their understanding of Titans, in the knowledge that the soldier's life is something everyone is familiar with now, and some people turn to other pursuits in their spare time. Pursuits that involve locked doors and annoyed bunkmates, and Petra purses her lips and sneaks into the boys' barracks when she can't get any sleep due to certain uncomfortably noisy activities going on right beyond the wall she sleeps next to.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Levi hisses when she crawls onto his bed. Never mind that he's not sleeping; she can almost make out the glow of his cheeks even in the dark and she smirks.

"People are being loud," she says. He stares at her blankly. "They're having sex," she clarifies, and yes, his cheeks are _definitely_ bright red.

"So what are you—"

"I don't want to hear it," she explains. "Auruo's asleep and snoring. You're awake, so I'm just going to sit here for an hour. You don't sleep much, anyway, right? You mentioned that before."

He grumbles and complains but moves aside to make room for her, shoving his blankets onto her legs, and she settles back into his covers with an air of satisfaction.

.

.

.

Over the years, Levi begins to open up, and she learns that he is more obsessively clean than anyone she's ever met, that he despises many things and likes very few others, that he is far more eloquent with his curses than she ever thought. She tells him things too, about herself and her father and her life within Wall Rose and eventually her mother, and she realizes that no matter what she gives him, there is one thing he clings steadfastly to and refuses to return: his past.

She doesn't push, doesn't pry, but when they are talking about the military organization they want to join in a few years, she realizes there may be something hidden there he cannot bring out without reopening old wounds.

"I think I _might_ make it into the top ten," she says, shrugging in case her words sound too boastful. "But I'm not sure if I want to join the Military Police."

"You'll make it," Levi says seriously.

She breaks into a grin at that. "Thanks. A life within the walls sounds good, but at the same time it sounds kind of… pointless? I don't know, I mean, I've told you about my mother." She shakes her head. "I don't want to join the Legion though. It also seems pointless. They never learn anything about Titans and people just keep getting killed."

He doesn't have a response to that, so she shrugs and says, "What about you?"

It's an innocent question; she is surprised at the sudden stiffness in his voice, coiling in his shoulders, when he says tightly, "What about me?"

"What do you want to join?"

There is a long pause in which he does not say anything, and she wonders if he heard something in her question that wasn't actually there. She is about to reassure him she doesn't mean anything by it when he finally answers, "Military Police."

She blinks. "Oh. Okay. You'll definitely make it, Levi. Huh, I didn't take you for the type."

He doesn't say anything, but when she turns to look at him, truly look at him, she sees his hunched posture and defeated eyes and blank expression, all the things he does not say, and she realizes he isn't the type after all, and it makes her sadder than she can imagine.

.

.

.

The Colossal Titan breaks through Wall Maria, and all hell breaks loose.

They haven't graduated yet; they're so close yet so far, and they're still supposed to be trainees but instead they're soldiers, thrust right in the middle of the fray with their 3DMG and uncertain futures, and Petra learns what true bravery is.

It isn't slashing Titan after Titan down or fighting well or anything like that; it isn't raising your blades in the air triumphantly and screaming bloody murder as you lead a charge into the heart of the battle; it isn't gleaming golden medals and clean, neat kills and heroic victories for humankind—it's a mess, it's loud and terrifying and it's all about moving forward even when every single one of your instincts scream for you to turn back.

She, Levi, Auruo, and Anka make it through. Others aren't so lucky, and long after the first day she and the 98th trainee squad were led into the fight, she wakes up with the faces of the dead imprinted beneath her eyelids.

"I don't know how you can sleep," she mumbles to Levi one morning, because he is the only one without dark bags under his eyes—no more than usual, anyway; the circles under his eyes seem to be permanent.

"The same as I always do," he says.

"But you _see_ them. The dead."

There is a long pause. He does not turn to her when he confesses, "I've always seen the dead. I've learned to ignore them."

"Oh," she whispers, and she thinks of his career choice that's not really a choice and a sliver of her heart breaks off.

.

.

.

It's the day they have to choose, and she is not nearly as nervous as she should be.

Anka is sticking with her decision—it's the Stationary Guard for her. Petra has talked to Auruo and they've both decided wholeheartedly to join the Scouting Legion. After the recent events, she cannot fathom any other option.

She ranked fifth in her class. Levi was first, Auruo fourth, Anka seventh. None of it surprises her, and maybe a few months ago she would have been proud, but now she does not care. There are more important things to care about now.

"Have you made up your mind?" she asks Levi before the new commander, Erwin Smith, is due to speak to them. Levi presses his lips together and says nothing.

She walks closer to him, takes one of his hands in his, and is surprised yet not surprised to find his skin ice-cold, his palms faintly shaky. "Levi. Levi, is someone making you join the Military Police?"

The words seem to tear through him and he blinks rapidly, his gaze focusing on her. "My… father," he says at last, and she does not know what is worse: the disgust in the last two syllables or the last two syllables themselves.

Commander Smith is walking up to the podium now; there isn't time. So she blurts, "Come with me and Auruo. You'll be free there. The wings of freedom, remember? That's the Legion's symbol."

And then Smith is talking. He's tall and handsome, his voice rich and powerful, his words painting a grand, mesmerizing picture that even Petra finds herself getting caught up in despite everything. When at last he finishes, she does not hesitate to bring her fist to her chest, and she stands her ground, head high and and convinced of her choice even as others stream away around her.

At last the movements stop. Commander Smith welcomes the Scouting Legion's new recruits to their ranks. Petra closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and when she opens them and looks to her side, Levi is right next to her.

Her gaze slides to his. He reaches out a hand and she takes it. She squeezes; he squeezes back.

.

.

.

They make a name for themselves quite quickly in the Scouting Legion.

Levi is a whirlwind with his blades, his true potential unmasked in the face of very real danger, very real Titans. His kill count grows higher and higher with every expedition, and determined not to let him best them _too_ much, Petra and Auruo follow suit as best as they can.

It's no surprise, then, that only a few months later, Levi receives a very official-looking envelope. It's filled with words and forms and the general gist is that he is invited to join an elite Special Operations Squad. What's surprising is that Petra and Auruo receive the same letters.

"I want to go," Petra says. "I want to do as much good as I can."

"I'll go if you go," Auruo says.

Levi doesn't say anything, just fingers the parchment, and she thinks she can guess what he is thinking: something elite like this, there might be official ranks involved. Important people, not just from the Scouting Legion but other places too. Like the Military Police. Like maybe his father.

She still doesn't know anything about his situation, has no idea what happened and why Levi is so bothered by the thought of the man who likely raised him, but she knows it disturbs him and that's enough for her. "I want to go, Levi," she says. "What do you want?"

He stares at her; she can usually read the storm of emotions in his eyes when they are visible but not today. "I'll go with you," he finally says. "I'll go."

"We'll go together," Petra promises, taking his hand in hers. She reaches for Auruo's with the other and he makes a show of not wanting to be silly and girly by holding hands, but in the end he relents. She holds both their hands and smiles at the both of them.

"We're the same, aren't we? We've always been. Let's go together."


End file.
